Piecing Together
by Kasigi Omi
Summary: Duo visits Trowa to try to understand his odd behavior. Yaoi. 3&4, 1&3


Piecing Together

Notes: So, I thought I was out of the GW fandom, but apparently not. What started as nostalgia, turned into a rekindled obsession and as these boys seem to be muses, I started writing fics again. For those of you who liked my GW fics (most of which, thank the gods, have been lost over the years!), here's some new joy. I will say I've shifted focus to more Trowa than Duo, but …. Anyway, patience. I hope it's not too OOC- it's been a while.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, though after all these years you'd hope otherwise…

Piecing Together

Duo was slightly hesitant as he made the call. The slightly bored young woman who had answered had reluctantly agreed to find the requested party for him and promptly wandered off, leaving him staring at an empty room and wondering why the hell he was even trying, given what Quatre had told him of the success rate of actually reaching the guy.

He was so convinced he would be brushed off that he only managed to stare open-mouthed for a moment when Trowa actually appeared on the screen.

The stoic former pilot raised one eyebrow. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Uh… yeah. Yeah, I did." Talking came easily to Duo, and he found himself going on in his planned routine fairly smoothly, despite the rocky beginning. "I'm actually on the same colony as you at the moment. Thought it might be nice to meet up and catch up, you know?"

Trowa seemed to consider this dubiously. "We were never really friends, Duo."

"Oh, I know that. I'm not actually stupid, it might surprise you to hear. But I figure, why aren't we friends? We all went through a lot of shit together. Seems stupid to just let that go."

A few moments of silence followed, and then Trowa nodded almost imperceptibly. "Very well. I am generally free during the afternoons. I trust you know where to find me?"

Duo grinned widely. "Of course. In order to find the circus, one just has to ask the kids."

"I suppose so. Well, I shall see you tomorrow." And the connection cut off abruptly.

"Geez. Not even a proper goodbye. He's so much like Heero it scares me sometimes," Duo complained good naturedly. Then he dialed Quatre to let the other know of his success, and had to spend fifteen minutes convincing him he wasn't just pulling his leg, but actually –had- gotten permission to see Trowa.

The next day found Duo sauntering through the circus grounds, hands tucked into the pockets of his black jeans. He didn't have to wander long before a tall, lanky figure fell into step beside him. "I see you found us."

"Yeah, no problem." He paused and turned to fully regard his companion. "You got your ear pierced. And you grew a little."

Trowa actually scoffed softly. "Yes, a little," he agreed mildly, though he remained a touch taller than the American, who had grown quite a bit since the end of the war. "You haven't changed much."

Duo shrugged and grinned. "Why try to improve on perfection?"

"As you say," the other replied in such a way that it was hard to determine if he was teasing, or merely making conversation. "Would you care for something to drink?"

"Anything guaranteed to give me a hangover sounds good."

"I have coffee. Cathy doesn't think much of heavy drinking."

"That's disappointing. Though when you two work with throwing knives, I guess I can't fault her logic too much."

Something that almost resembled a smile crossed Trowa's face. "That is her reasoning."

Duo was still snickering to himself at the idea of drunken knife throwing and all the possibilities it entailed when Trowa stopped before a trailer and opened the door for him. "Getting the star treatment now, eh?" he almost teased, brushing through the door. "It's almost like you're glad to see me or something."

"Actually," Trowa replied, entering after him and closing the door, "I think I am pleased to see you."

"Weird. The only one who ever admits to being glad when I drop in is Quatre! Heero's gotten to the point where he just signs and says, 'Oh, you again.' Doesn't even bother with his gun anymore! Not sure if I should be insulted or pleased about it."

Trowa had continued through the tiny space to what was apparently a kitchen and had started making the coffee, but had stopped still at the mention of Heero's name. "You still see Heero?"

"Oh, sure. Sometimes. He's always a bitch to track down, of course, but the expression of resignation on his face when I show up out of nowhere is completely worth it. Anyway, I guess he's kinda like my best friend or something, so I have to see him from time to time."

"But he doesn't track you down?" There was a hint of something in Trowa's voice, but Duo had never known him well enough to even begin to try to translate it.

"Not usually. He's done it maybe twice in five years, and I suspect he was using my place as a hideout or something. What he gets himself into these days, I don't know. Course, maybe he was just hiding from Relena or something. Oh, I take it black with lots of sugar, by the way. Actually, probably best to just bring me the sugar and let me deal with it. Thanks," he finished, as Trowa obediently set mug and sugar down before him.

He waited for Trowa to sit down with his own mug before starting up again. Slyly, looking up from the arduous task of pouring sugar into his coffee, he started what was clearly the purpose of his visit. "Hey, speaking of best friends, you and Q were pretty close, weren't you?"

Trowa hesitated, not as if he were surprised by the topic, but as if he had been hoping to avoid it only to be disappointed. "I suppose we were once, in a way."

"Once, in a way? Wow. That's a little harsh! And to hear Quatre, he thinks you two still are close, even though he's not seen your face, much less the rest of you, in five years!"

"We write."

"He's told me. Hell, he's even showed me your letters. Says he writes you at least once a week and even then he only hears from you once every few months. To make it even worse, your letters are all less than two pages and you talk about the lions, your sister, new acts, and the success of the circus. You don't actually say anything personal. I looked carefully at all of them, and you know what? You never once wrote the words 'I think' or 'I feel'. You're breaking Quatre's heart."

"That is not my intention," Trowa informed him, carefully setting down his mug, which was still mostly full. He kept his eyes focused on it, rather than looking at Duo.

"Look, I'm not here to judge you or anything," Duo went on, setting his own mug down and leaning forward earnestly. "But Q is my friend, and a damn good one. And I hate seeing him cherish these scraps of paper saying nothing at all because it's all he's got to hang on to, since the man he loves won't even take his calls."

"My work keeps me busy."

"Yet you had time to fit me in the day after I called. Don't bullshit me, Trowa. I'm loud, annoying and I talk too much, but I'm far from stupid. Quatre told me you two slept together. That night after we blew up our Gundams."

Trowa didn't seem to move, but Duo could sense a new rigidity in his posture, like a man staring into the face of his own death.

"He told me you two talked about moving in together. He said you promised him you would, as soon as you had tied up loose ends here. Said everything seemed to be going smoothly and than suddenly you stopped taking his calls or referring to your plans. He's tried to see you several times, but has always gotten put off. So, what changed?"

There was a long silence then, but Duo could tell the other was considering, choosing his words. So he was content to wait. Besides, if he could get a proper speech out of Trowa, it would be worth bragging about for the rest of his life.

"Heero," Trowa began at length, startling Duo, "Is a remarkable man. He has some sort of unacknowledged charisma that draws people to him. I've never seen anyone not react to him. I know I certainly did." He shifted slightly, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know, I am sure, the stress that our former lifestyle put upon the body and mind. You would also know one of the most efficient ways to deal with it." His eyes rose and locked on Duo's face then. "Heero and I spent a good deal of time together, once."

It took a second, and then Duo's eyebrows rose into his hairline. "You two were lovers!"

"More or less, though assigning that term to it gives it more substance than there was. We fucked, for lack of a better term. And it was good. We were very good for each other in that way. There was no question of love or need, just the mere expediency of physical release."

"But that was a long time ago," Duo hedged, uncertainty in his voice as a few things started to line up in his mind.

Trowa sighed softly. "He stopped to see me once or twice after the war. Partially he wanted to see how I was adapting to peace, to gauge his own acclimation, I think. He and I have been soldiers all our lives. I suppose it gives us a sort of kinship."

"Let me guess. Sex ensued."

A soft, self-deprecating chuckle. "Well, I did say it had been good. I wasn't the only one to think so."

"And then you slept with Quatre. And I'm assuming that wasn't just sex."

"No, it wasn't." His voice was softer, almost reverent and loaded with regret. "That night was something I had never experienced before. I hadn't intended it, Duo. I had always been drawn to Quatre, but always tried to hold myself aloof. Then he came to me that night, when I had been up thinking that maybe I wouldn't have to fight anymore, and maybe my life could start anew and I just… didn't resist him. I love Quatre, Duo. And I really meant it when I said I would go with him."

Duo's own voice was subdued. "I know. You couldn't have lied to him about that. Not when he was there in your arms."

Whatever came next in the tale, Trowa clearly didn't want to touch upon so after a few moments of thoughtful silence, Duo took it on himself to finish. "Then you came back here to settle things and that was when Heero showed up and you couldn't resist him either. I'm guessing then that it's guilt that's making you keep Quatre at arms' length."

"It's not guilt, Duo. I never wanted to hurt Quatre."

"Oh. So in order to protect him, you're pushing him away, so he can't find out about your fling with Heero that time."

"Your phrasing implies you think it has since stopped."

"Woah! Wait a minute! You're telling me you two still see each other for sex?"

"Not just for sex. We do talk as well."

"And you think that wouldn't stop, even if you were with Quatre."

"Heero makes no demands on me that I worry I can't fulfill. Quatre slept in my arms, full of trust and happiness, and I don't like the idea of anyone placing that much on me. Sex I can handle. Being the most important person in someone's world is a bit more difficult, especially for an orphan with no true name. I don't have anything to ground myself, so I can't steady someone trying to ground themselves in me. So yes, if I were with Quatre and Heero showed up, I would rush into bed with him, just to escape back to familiar footing. And that Quatre would not be able to understand."

"Quatre can understand a whole lot, Trowa. It's one of his gifts and why he's such a great friend."

Trowa's lips twisted in a wry smile. "I agree. But it's hard to be understanding when your own emotions are raging because your lover had a fling."

"You have a point there." Duo sighed and slumped back in his seat, frustrated. "And I came all the way out here, expecting your reasons to be stupid, petty and worth yelling at you over. I mean, I love Q, I don't like seeing him hurt like he is, but if what you say is true, he would get hurt even worse." He glared half-heartedly. "Your reasons were supposed to be stupid!"

"I'm sorry to have upset your expectations. I do like to think that I don't do anything too stupid, however."

"Can't argue with you for thinking Heero's hot. Hell, I think Heero's hot and I'm not into guys!" Duo ran one long fingered hand over his face. "I don't suppose you think Heero's done with his visits?"

"He was here two weeks ago."

"And you couldn't ask him to just… stop instigating the sex? Like if you were with Quatre?"

After a moment Trowa replied slowly, "I probably could…"

Duo's lips twitched. "But you don't want to."

"It is really good, Duo."

"Right. Can't hold you at fault for that either, I guess. But there's got to be some way!"

Duo fell to muttering to himself while Trowa stood and cleared away the now cold coffee. "I hate to interrupt your thoughts, Duo, but I do have practice to get to."

"Yeah, okay. I can tell when I'm being asked to leave. At least you don't do it with a gun, so I appreciate that." He followed Trowa to the door, which the other held open for him and he paused before stepping out. "Hey, um… thanks for being honest with me about everything."

Trowa inclined his head very slightly in reply and Duo trotted out into the sunlight. He was almost back to his car when an idea struck him. "Well, it's worth a shot," he muttered, throwing his car into gear and heading out.

Trowa hadn't really expected that to be the end of it, so when he got another call from Duo two weeks later he wasn't all that surprised.

"Duo," he greeted, seating himself before the vid screen.

"Okay, so I've been thinking things over, like what we talked about and all, and something occurred to me."

"What would that be?"

"It occurred to me that you could have protected Quatre without avoiding actually seeing him. So, maybe there was another reason you don't want to see his face. Like maybe you feared you'd lose your resolve at one look from those big baby blues of his."

"Duo…" he began, but the other waved his hand dismissively.

"But, you'd never take a call from Quatre for just that reason. However, I had already proven that you'd see me, so…."

And before Trowa could properly register exactly what Duo was implying, the braided youth stepped aside and Quatre appeared on the screen. Older, slightly more tired looking, but still so radiant it made his chest tight to see him.

"Hello, Trowa."

Trowa had to give Duo credit for being more insightful than he had thought, because the damned fool was exactly right.


End file.
